Cleric Journal: Day Two Hundred and Twenty Two

DearFatherMulcahy

 

 

Now, when confronted with overwhelming odds, the prudent thing to do is run.  As you may recall, I’ve never been overly prudent.  Luckily I’d just cast a protection from evil spell on my entire crew, which was helpful with the corrupt scourge that was spilling into the camp.

I am so sick of fighting.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m not tired of defending the poor, the helpless or the weak.  I’m just seriously tired of self-important idiots who think they are better than everyone around them.

Demon boy showed up with only six snake people to fill out his roster — three of the nearly human ones, weak as kittens, two of the half snakes which were a little tougher, but prone to berserker rages that frequently put their own side in danger, and one full on snake people super mutant.  Think of a giant constrictor with arms carrying a sword and shield.  That was going to be the true problem.

The demon, well, last time we’d killed him he’d had much tougher allies.  He could jump pretty far and create some illusions, including turning himself invisible, but truth be told the full on snake mutant Child of Sseth was more of a threat.

Sad really, in comparison to our force.  We had me (cleric extraordinaire); Rufus (wizard of some middling power), Alfred (giant warrior), Sparkle (assassin/thief, currently in the fetal position); Liz (lizard folk ranger); Bÿglar (hob warrior); Booty Shake, Morning Glory and the rest of the fairies (I’m going with warriors, though I have no idea what they think of themselves at this point); and Bob (dwarf warrior/paladin).

Basically we had them out numbered and out gunned, and that was not even counting the brigands who were due back at any moment.

To start things out Rufus stood up, made a gesture with his two middle fingers that would’ve pleased Sister Agnes, and lightning flew from his hands, smashing into the snake people.  The idiots couldn’t have lined up any nicer for old weasel gnome.  The lightning forked, blasting the lot of them.  Straight away, the three weaker ones froze where they were, lightning arcing through their bodies, smoke pouring out of their eyes, ears, nose and throat.  The rest were affected to various degrees, with the demon getting the weakest portion.  Not a single one of them escaped the initial onslaught.  Screams echoed from their quarter, which was creepy coming from the Children of Sseth.  They more hissed hysterically.

Without missing  beat, Liz rolled to the side, snatched up her bow and planted two arrows into the face and neck of one of the half snake guys.  He fell gurgling and just thrashed.

Alfred roared in that way giants can, bent over and pulled a rock out of the ground.  This thing was more than half buried in the soil, but Alfred was large, strong and very angry.  The boulder flew through the air while the lightning still played, smashing the second half snake, turning his head into a red mist.

The demon and the snake mutant being were both a little shocked by how quickly their people had taken out.  After what seemed like a full minute, Rufus lowered his arms and the lightning faded.  I glanced his way and saw that he slumped against Alfred, panting, but he gave me a thumbs up.

I had to grin at the little guy.  That was an amazing display of power.  Of course, it’s exactly what he did to help kill the black dragon, so I had an inkling just how powerful he was.

“Let that pompous arse, Tim do that!” he shouted, reaching into his pockets for something to cast his next spell.

“Great going,” I called, hefting my mace and rushing in now that the lightning had stopped.

The fairies beat me to in, since they had me on both agility and speed.  The snake mutant had taken a full fusillade of lightning and was staggered, but not down by any means.  The fairies swarmed him, shooting him with poison arrows, which I could’ve told them would do no good with these clowns.  Luckily they are all pretty smart and while the poison wasn’t going to take this guy down, the arrows were enough of an annoyance to totally mask my approach.

I feel like the might of my blow had to have impressed Alfred.  Sure, I’m just a man and I did just swing a mace, but I’m a cleric of Kithri and Semaunzilla (may she forgive me killing more scaled ones).  At least these were snakes, not lizard folk.  Anyway.  My mace, as you probably recall, is an artifact of the last paladin of Kithri’s Fist.  Again, we will have to discuss how it came to be abandoned in our monastery, but that is another mystery to solve.  Let’s just say that the mace had a serious hate on for evil creatures.  My first swing smashed the sword from ugly’s hand, crushing his arm and shattering bones.  He managed to swing his gaze at me and in the language of Liz’s people demand that I stop hitting him.  Funny thing was, the compulsion was so strong I did just that.  I stepped back, lowered my mace and started to apologize.  Never, ever look at one of those things in the eyes.  Powerful magic there.  Luckily for me I still had friends in the area.

Liz shot him a couple of times with her bow, Alfred drew his twin swords and charged forward, bowling the mutant over and stabbed him in the chest with both blades.  Really by that point he was barely standing, but Alfred cut a dashing image nearly slicing the monstrosity in two.

I shook my head to clear it and we all turned to the demon who had wide swatches of red fur scorched.  He crouched to spring into the air (and probably go invisible) but for Sparkle.

I don’t know how she had gotten from where she lay in the underbrush with Bÿglar so fast, but just as the demon was about to jump, Sparkle appeared behind him and slashed both of his hamstrings with her very sharp short swords.

Instead of jumping away, the demon lurched sideways and fell to the ground where we spent a few moments beating and stabbing him.

In the end, I think we took less than two minutes to kill all of them.  It was rather impressive and I was congratulating Rufus on his amazing talents when Just Jacob and the brigands ran into the camp screaming, followed by a horde of frogs riding giant toads.

A guy just can’t catch a break.

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